Wednesday, 11 August 2010

Reasons Against It

for the ‘poetry community’

1) Poetry corrupts language.

2) A typical poet is a mentally incurious, unimaginative, status-and-gossip obsessed phrase-stealing dedicated imitator of fashion.

3) Despite evidence and assertions to the contrary, most poets are the cringing creatures of the status quo.

4) The music of poetry is tone-deaf. And cheap perfume.

5) It raises hopes. Then thwarts them.

6) It rhymes. Often, and in public.

7) Its comparatively few sincere practitioners are condemned to a lifetime of anguish at the reality of their unfortunate election of art.

8) It drove me to drink.

9) Metaphor is a method of stealing food.

10) Longfellow was a poet

11) Like religions, and politicians, it feeds on the suggestible.

12) This is a poem.

13) It is a conversation with no-one.