Wednesday 11 August 2010

Reasons Against It

for the ‘poetry community’



1) Poetry corrupts language.



2) A typical poet is a mentally incurious, unimaginative, status-and-gossip obsessed phrase-stealing dedicated imitator of fashion.



3) Despite evidence and assertions to the contrary, most poets are the cringing creatures of the status quo.



4) The music of poetry is tone-deaf. And cheap perfume.



5) It raises hopes. Then thwarts them.



6) It rhymes. Often, and in public.



7) Its comparatively few sincere practitioners are condemned to a lifetime of anguish at the reality of their unfortunate election of art.



8) It drove me to drink.



9) Metaphor is a method of stealing food.



10) Longfellow was a poet



11) Like religions, and politicians, it feeds on the suggestible.



12) This is a poem.



13) It is a conversation with no-one.